Moment of Surrender

As I scrambled out the door after dinner one night I had no idea that I would return to a new life. I was happy to get out even if it was just for a few minutes. It had been a long day with the boys and I had a lot on my mind. I was planning to leave the next morning for a little road trip with friends to see U2 in Atlanta. I was excited beyond belief but my mind was scrambled and going a million different directions. Dave graciously volunteered to work two half days to be with the boys but every detail from school, to homework, to uniforms and swim lessons would need to be written down. After dinner I remembered that I didn't have anything to pack for Toby's lunch the next day. I quickly got everyone going upstairs, kids in the tub and jetted out the door to the grocery. So when I finally filled my basket and was ready to checkout...it somehow didn't surprise me that I had forgotten my wallet. I jumped in the car, irritated with myself, and drove home as quickly as could make it down Mass Ave with all of it's ill timed lights to retrieve my wallet. As I was driving, Dave called. He said Toby had something to tell me...Toby took the phone and shared with me in his shy and quiet voice that he asked Jesus into his heart with Daddy. They had prayed together. Whoa. I was a little floored. We spent much of May thru September at our own house church...with the TV on. And as I shared earlier...the last couple of years didn't really have a peaceful God is love feel to them all the time. Despite our best efforts during that time our kids felt strangeness between Dave and I. Toby in particular knew there was stuff going on. We wanted to hide it from them but all we could say to them was, "we are working on it, you didn't do anything wrong, we need our friends and we need God to work in our lives." Somehow in the midst of the greatest spiritual and emotional turmoil Dave and I have ever experienced...God was working in our son's heart. He was drawing him to Himself and doing work in Toby's life that we could not, no matter how much we wanted it or how hard we tried. So this morning as Toby took communion for the first time I couldn't hold back the tears. Humbled Again by a Faithful and Redeeming Love.

If I believe that i am broken and yet fail to see the bigger picture that Jesus is offering in the redeemption of my pain and sin...i will miss the joy of serving him and the calling of my life. I believe that Jesus came not just to save us; he came with a fiery sword of justice, an indomitable heart of compassion for the weak and a power to awake the dead so that life may be made new.