god vs. God

I have a friend that doesn't believe in God. She believes in a less personal power/force in this universe...not like the God preached in the church she attended in high school--the same church that she was too scared to turn to while facing an unplanned pregnancy and later a painful and lonely abortion during her high school years. A few weeks ago, her husband woke her early one morning to tell her that he has been hiding a drug addiction for over a year and that he needs help. She was floored by the news and never saw this blow coming. Immediately they checked him into a rehabilitation facility to help get him off drugs and to show him how to live again. After the shock subsided my firend found her heart flooded with emotions...fear (what if he does this again?), anger (how much money was wasted on this? you were lying to me!), and love (i want to help him get better, i am going to stand by him through this). My friend said that she is learning a lot about forgiveness...what it means to truly love someone and how incapable she has been to forgive in the past. She believes that this situation will allow her to grow into a more forgiving person and to love more freely.

How is it that i can say that i believe in a personal and loving God/Father that has a great plan for my life but often times spit frustration and hatred into his face when the turmoil comes in? My friend says she doesn't even believe in God...and yet this impersonal force is going to great lengths to teach her lessons that could reconcile her past and give beauty and redemption to the relationships she has today. Her hands are open and she is receiving this consquence to pain as a great gift.

Open my hands, God. And open my heart.

looking ahead

toby and i were taking a walk the other day and i started asking him what he wants to be when he grows up and what kind of girl he might marry...

toby: i want to marry i girl that is golf
me: oh, a girl that plays golf, that's cool.
toby: no! a girl that is GOTH! i want to be a vampire when i grow up!
me: Wow!

for the record, he did say that he would be a good vampire and chase all the bad guys. he said his only super power would be that he can turn into a bat.

i have to say, i didn't see any of this coming...guess that's what we have to look forward to.

maine