warmer days and the baseball game

it's today!

we have all had a bad case of the coughs around here the last two weeks so it was a pleasant if not comical surprise to hear toby running down the stairs this morning, jumping on our bed shouting, "Today is the first day of spring!" you gotta love that kind of hope and expectation in the midst of pain and dark, rainy days! Thank you God for spring, renewel, and hope!

famiversary

i am so glad i made it through january. i hate january. i don't really know what it is about it...maybe it's the dark or the bone chilling, skin cracking cold, or maybe it's the grinding slow down from the holidays that sprinkle the fall months...whatever it is, it takes all that is in me to get through january. the first month of the new year should be marked by the pursuit of new adventures and ideas, it should be the year of goals reached and paths paved but not for me. i just try to put my head down and bear it. it gets so bad that i even try to pound it out on the treadmill.

but now that it is February, hallelujah, i am bombarded by the anniversary of joshua's referral. i can't believe that it has been one year already. for families that have adopted, the day you finally get the call that you have a new son or daughter...it cannot be matched. it was a year ago this week, that we actually missed the call. yes, you read that right. we were in the hoosier dome, oh wait, i mean RCA dome, celebrating the colts superbowl win with thousands of other blue faced colts fans. for those hours we were distracted by the victory and vigorously joining in on the cheering, clapping, and woohooing. we were caught up in it all, the deafening screams and roaring jubilation when the team finally came into the dome on floats and in convertables waving and yelling to fans. we felt their excitment with every bit as much pride and passion. our bodies were crowded with goosebumps and our eyes filled with happy tears. we were so in it that we didn't hear the call we had been waiting for for the last two years! we when returned home that night we checked the messages...i said to my beloved, "dave, the agency called, and they want us to call them back tomorrow..." it was a restless night, maybe we have one more paper for fill out, what if they lost all of our paperwork, what if... but the next morning, the phone rang just as i was getting ready to leave to pick up toby from pre k..."sarah, i have good news for you! His name is Tariku..."

a.m.

lately, i have been having a really hard time sleeping. i don't really know what the deal is. i am tired but when i lay down my mind feels flooded with strange little memories, to do lists, the days conversations... i simply lay there listening to my heart and snoring husband, thinking...when will i fall asleep?

i wish i could be more productive since i can't sleep but in this tiny house i feel like one stumbling move and everyone will be startled awake. i really don't want that.

i think i will try again...maybe this time i will try to imagine Bono sitting on the edge of my bed (not wearing any leather because that would be too loud--but certainly wearing something hip and black and his elevator shoes and probably his sunglasses...i am sure his eyes would be bugged by my stupid neighbor's garage lights shining into my window all night long.) singing... sleep, sleep tonight and may your dreams be realized, when the thunder cloud passes rain, oh let it rain, rain down on me...mmm.

maybe that will work.
goodnight.

car conversations

Toby: "Mrs. Linn got to do all the best things when she was little. She got to pump water into a bucket to make her bath.

Me: "oh, did she grow up on a farm?"

Toby: "No."

Me: "What?"

Toby: "No!," he said emphatically.

Me: "Toby, i don't understand why you are so mad...did she grow up on a farm?"

Toby: "NO! She didn't throw up on a farm!"


...but she did grow up on a farm.

I am so thankful to be "mommy" to these little boys.

2007 was indeed a year of blessings. undeserved, unmerited.

i am thankful today--even though school is out and my kids are making me a little crazy!

someone to hold you up